So yeah, the therapist recommended EMDR: Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing . So today was the introductory session. She guided me through imagining a calm and safe place, to envision this place every time I feel tense. Then I followed her fingers with my eyes, moving from left to right. It felt ... calming, and somehow like something in the programming of memories in your brain to something more positive.
Food for thought that the therapist shared with me:
The earlier the intervention after trauma, the quicker the healing. But if the time after trauma was longer before treatment, it also took longer to reprocess the negative memories to positive ones. Because the negative memory has 'taken root' and is much harder to weed out (like me, who hid these bad memories for years until it festered).
Well I think its great that I'm taking the first steps to make my mind healthy and take better care of myself! EMDR takes at least eight sessions.