Tuesday, August 16, 2016

EMDR session 1: healing memories

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I've been seeing a psychiatrist for two sessions now. After being unemployed for awhile and only staying at home, I realized I'm always depressed about the same old things. I realized that I've been suffering for years, from low self-esteem, a hazing incident in college that left so much mental scars and a negative view of myself. Going around the old campus of my university, I recalled a weird first panic attack (from a suspicion that I was being stalked, that triggered a flood of memories from the hazing, that was generally bad).

So yeah, the therapist recommended EMDR: Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing . So today was the introductory session. She guided me through imagining a calm and safe place, to envision this place every time I feel tense. Then I followed her fingers with my eyes, moving from left to right. It felt ... calming, and somehow like something in the programming of memories in your brain to something more positive.

Food for thought that the therapist shared with me:
The earlier the intervention after trauma, the quicker the healing. But if the time after trauma was longer before treatment, it also took longer to reprocess the negative memories to positive ones. Because the negative memory has 'taken root' and is much harder to weed out  (like me, who hid these bad memories for years until it festered).

Well I think its great that I'm taking the first steps to make my mind healthy and take better care of myself! EMDR takes at least eight sessions.

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